Tuesday, May 08, 2007

Ten Not-So-Interesting Facts

Because osodelsol told me to...

OK, Ten facts about myself. Interesting is optional.

1. I’ve had five knee surgeries. My personal favorite is when they replaced my PCL with a dead guy’s Achilles tendon. Coupled with the surgical steel already in there, that makes my knee a combination of Frankenstein and Robocop. I’m currently walking around on a torn ACL, so surgery #6 isn’t too far off. I’m waiting until I have some health insurance worth a damn.

2. I have never smoked a cigarette. Not a one. And I worked for Philip Morris.

3. My college roommate was absolutely insane. He tried to stab me, took a swing at me with a golf club, and almost accidentally lit us both on fire. He also made the most delicious omelet you’ve ever had. There was never a dull moment in college. I really miss living with him, though I would never do it again.

4. I was in a punk band in high school. We weren’t very good, even by the rather lenient standards of punk. Mainly, I got up on a stage and yelled at people.

5. I’ve been divorced twice. This means I’m already tied with Henry VIII on divorces, even if I am down four wives. I now need to figure out how to have the next one executed.

6. I’ve invented two football stats for my own use. I am that big of a dork. One is my own passer ratings on a yards/attempt scale and the other is offensive line ratings based on standard deviation. I really need a life. (By the way, the Giants has the best o-line last year).

7. Since high school, I have not lived in the same dwelling for more than two consecutive years. I’m on my third apartment in law school. I don’t set down roots well.

8. I ran an online BBS in high school with some of my friends. Which means I have been online since about 1989. The connection speed of the BBS maxed out at 4800 baud. That’s about 4 KB/second. AIRBEAR usually connects at about 11 MB/second, so our BBS maxed out at a speed around 3000 times slower than AIRBEAR. My dork bona fides.

9. My iPod has over 13,000 songs on it. Including the complete discographies of bands as diverse as Fugazi and the Beatles.

10. I wrote a novel and a play. The play was performed exactly one time.

15 comments:

OsoDelSol said...

Actually, you have had 2 more divorces than good King Henry. Both of his were technically annulments.

KNEEL BEFORE BEAR!

Poseur said...

My first marriage was annulled. So, if you're scoring at home, the final tote board is:

WIVES
Henry VIII 6, Poseur 2

DIVORCES
Poseur 1, Henry VIII 0

ANNULMENTS
Henry VIII 2, Poseur 1

EXECUTIONS
Henry VIII 2, Poseur 0

Henry VIII was also widowed once by natural causes, and his last wife managed to outlive him.

OsoDelSol said...

Oh wait! We forgot Anne of Cleves! That brings Henry's anullment total to 3. For she had evil smells about her and loose breasts. He liked her not.

At least you weren't married to her.

You could do to up your execution count, though. It breeds respect in prospectives, I think.

Poseur said...

Divorced, killed, died. Divorced, killed, survived.

Anne of Cleves was #4. We've already accounted for her. Katherine Howard (#5) and Anne Boelyn (#2) both got the axe. Literally.

OsoDelSol said...

But Anne Boleyn got an anullment and a killin.

Richard Pittman said...

I miss Kevin too. I think he stopped hanging around us because he thought we made it hard for him to get a girlfriend. It is probably true that we would have never let him change, but that's hardly our fault. Why should we suffer?

Poseur said...

It's hard to pick out a favorite Kevin moment. Throwing his keys in the lake in a fit of rage, convincing Charlotte Wienerschnitzel also sold I-beams, the whole "gimme a Z!" thing, how when he got really drunk he'd lose the ability to walk but could still speak without slurring his speech, threatening to bury Jon behind the SuperFresh, his bizarre torture of his brother (removing the speaker on the telephone was my favorite), leaping over the railing to attack me, the Tornado of Flame...

...the dude was crazy. He was practically a force of nature. Not as crazy as Lawler (who once shattered a shatter-proof door with his head), but pretty close.

Anonymous said...

No idea if you'll actually see this comment, but I felt the need to share a piece of unsolicited advice, on the chance you might need it-in regards to your 6th knee surgery. I'm a 3L in Houston & found your blog kinda by accident, by reading Texas law student's blogs. (Was going to email it, but didn't see your email address on the site-so I guess this is kind of a public service announcement & free advertisement for the doc)

You probably already have a preferred doc, but I've gotta recommend a fantastic orthopedic surgeon in Houston (specializes in joints & joint replacements-not that you need that...yet & also spines). He has taken care of myself, my family & several friends-every one of them has loved him & the ones that had surgery have had great results. He replaced my brother's ACL when he blew it out almost 10 yrs ago (w/ a cadaver tendon) & my bro has had zero problems since. His name is Dr. Henry N. Small.

He's very conservative in his approach to treatment-meaning he will never tell a patient they have to have surgery, he exhausts all options (p.t., meds, injections, etc...) before he'll even discuss the possibility of surgery. I think that's what has really impressed everyone in my family b/c other orthos in the past were always in such a rush to get you on the operating table.

Sorry for the lengthy comment-just felt the need to share, as a fellow law student w/ joint problems. If you have a 6th surgery, hope it goes well.

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