Monday, May 14, 2007

How Baseball ruined Mother's Day

The Orioles blew a 5-run lead in the 9th inning yesterday. Now, I know in the long run, these things don’t matter, it’s just a silly game. I know that it’s more important that this weekend I got to see a lot of my college friends, I saw two weddings, I crashed a graduation party, and I got to talk to my mom during Mother’s Day. That’s a good weekend by any standard.

Who am I kidding? The O’s game completely ruined my weekend. One out in the ninth and no runners on and you lose? You remove a guy working on a three-hitter because a hitter reached by error? You employ a middle reliever for $5.67 million/year* who can’t hold a five-run lead?! Yeah, it’s just a game. It’s a game that caused my blood pressure to rise to a point that I’m looking into plane fares to Baltimore so I can have a “discussion” with the Orioles front office in a dark alley. By the time the O’s made their second error of the inning, allowing two runs (including the winning run) to score on a groundball that didn’t leave the infield, I invented curse words.

I also am convinced Kevin Millar is a double agent who intentionally screwed the play up to help his old team. Once a Red Sock, always a Red Sock.

My emergency backup NL team, the Dbacks, let me down too, but that seems besides the point. By the time Maryland lacrosse choked like the Dallas Mavericks in the first round of the NCAA tourney, I was practically catatonic. Why do I give a crap? Why do I let these things affect my mood like that? It’s just a game, it’s just a game, it’s just a game.

It’s just a game that’s killing me right now. I hate the Orioles. I hate baseball.

I hate Jude right now for rubbing it in (though DeBye has had the good sense to be gracious about it, mainly because he does not have Jude’s benefit of physical distance). But not as much as my friend from Boston who sent me a virtual “Get Well” card. He can rot in hell.

*Ed. Note. Not a misprint. That’s Five point six-seven million for a middle reliever. That’s grossly overpaid even by baseball standards. Forget the argument whether any athlete “deserves” over five million to play a game, nobody pays middle relievers this much money. Not even the Yankees. Middle relievers are baseball’s fungible good, most teams use prospects, marginal players, and failed starters. If they’re in the pen and aren’t the closer, chances are rather good they aren’t very good. Paying them big money is remarkably stupid. No one has ever gone broke gambling on the Orioles’ stupidity.

3 comments:

Praise the Highlander said...

I will use the benefit of distance to stay alive. For now at least.

I went to a Red Sox game 3 years ago at fenway in which Millar missed a routine grounder against the Yankees leading to a Red Sox loss. I do not miss that man.

Alan said...

Almost as bad as being a Rangers fan. You would think after nearly a decade of bad pitching, they'd hire a decent pitcher. No, we're paying Sammy Sosa to DH for us.

Anonymous said...

Unfortunately, Sammy has been one of few bright spots for the Rangers lately. But at least the Rangers didn't ruin Mother's Day--they won with a walk off home run.