Tuesday, October 30, 2007

You Are... Penn State And You Suck

In my younger days, I may have been guilty of some bad fan behavior. I have, and still to this day, will "Tiger Bait!" the opposition fans. But I never, ever acted like this. Which is probably the worst fan behavior I've ever seen*:

It's hard to identify the worst part about it, but I'll try: these jerks actually posted this on the internet themselves because they thought it was funny. It has of course now taken on a life of its own, even generating so many complaints even from Penn State's own fanbase that the university has issued a form letter to respond.

Verbal taunting kind of goes with the territory of going to a rival school's home game. Verbal insults probably cross the line, and profanity always does. But physically attacking the other team's fans is not just over the line, it is illegal.

I think the best take on it is from the M-Zone. I will simply add the standard "me, too" to their comments. Look, we're talking about behavior so egregious even MICHIGAN fans know it is wrong.

*Ed Note - OK, excluding soccer hooligans. But soccer hooligans are basically an organized street gang, so that is hardly comparable.

Yes, My Knee Hurts.

One of the running jokes of our Mock Trial team has been that my knee is so messed up that it is the only knee pain on the planet which is communicable. Since returning from Key West, only Dez has managed to avoid hurting his knee in the following week. Christie is already planning my impending doom, as she blames me for her recent ACL tear. The Pandora’s Box of knee pain was opened when I decided to dance on Friday night, which is a bad idea for two reasons:

1. I am a terrible dancer.
2. My knee has the stability of the average African government

So, Osler made fun of me today by listing a whole bunch of fake knee injuries I have incurred over the course of my life. The thing is, he left off a true injury which may be better than any of his fake injuries. Oh, and he guessed wrong on my first injury. The first surgery I had on my leg was in 1982 when I stepped on a needle. Due to my already burgeoning hatred of doctors, I walked around with a needle in my foot for three months. Somehow I did not develop gangrene. I showed them, right?

Anyway, my favorite knee injury is this: I blew out my knee playing croquet. Yes, croquet. If you blow out your knee playing croquet, the doctors will make fun of you. In fact, you’ll have three doctors and ten nurses in your room who all want to get your history just so they can ask “So, how did you hurt you knee?”

This was actually my favorite surgery (an odd turn of phrase), as I had cadaver surgery. They placed a dead guy’s ligament in my knee which is one of those things I am far too fascinated by*. While I’m not sure if it came from a carnie, it would not surprise me. This was in Baltimore, and it is based not to ask where the hospital gets their spare parts. There’s a reason people don’t go near Johns Hopkins alone at night: med students can’t be trusted.

Oh, and Osler is not kidding about the Vulcan neck pinch. Gordon poked me in the throat in order to prevent me from further injuring myself. This was a pretty remarkable decision on Gordon’s part, as he realized two things about me after spending a weekend with me: I will not listen to reason and I’m the sort of person who would find getting poked in the throat funny. Well played, GED.

*Ed Note- Much like the Dutch. Don’t ask.

Sunday, October 28, 2007

Best Play Ever?

Seriously, watch this play. It is simply unbelievable. Fifteen laterals on the final play to win the game? Just crazy. Way to go, obscure Texas college football.

Saturday, October 27, 2007

Birthdays At Poseur HQ

This week marked the birthday of the Official Brother of Poseur. We're kind of impressed we've both made it so far despite our repeated attempts to kill one another. A brief recap:

- He pushed me down a flight of stairs. It's actually my earliest memory.

- I locked him in his room via a complicated series of ropes and pulleys.

- Our favorite game as kids was to go into the woods and beat each other with large sticks.

- He sent his scary high school dropout friends to beat me up once. For no particular reason, he just wanted to see if I could talk my way out of it. I did.

- He hit me with a dart. By the way, that hurts.

- It was my idea to ride in a taxi in Rome, which was the most harrowing experience of my life. If I can teach you one thing, it is this: never, ever, EVER get into a taxi in Rome and tell the driver, "Follow that car." Because he will.

Happy birthday, bro.

Thursday, October 25, 2007

The Value of Facebook

Facebook is being invaded by Bill Gates:
Microsoft and Facebook, based in Palo Alto, jointly announced Wednesday that the software giant would pay $240 million for a 1.6 percent stake in the 3-year-old company that is invading the home-page turf of such Internet giants as Google, Yahoo, AOL and Microsoft's own MSN.

Industry observers say Microsoft was willing to pay a steep premium to prevent Facebook from striking a similar agreement with Google or other suitors. While the deal does not put a formal value on the privately held company, Microsoft's investment would suggest that Facebook is worth $15 billion, twice the market capitalization of chip-maker Advanced Micro Devices.

Haven't we been down this road before? How on earth is Facebook worth $15 billion? What do the do to generate revenue? That "gift" function can't be generating that much cash. There can't be $15 billion worth of advertising on the site, can there?

Really, have we already frogotten the 1990s internet bubble? Because I still have some stock options I haven't cashed.

Wednesday, October 24, 2007

Me And My Laptop

I purchased my computer one year and six days ago. Go ahead, ask me how I know that. Here's a hint, it has something to do with my one-year warranty and my motherboard.

Best buy helpfully asked if I would like to purchase a new computer from them given that it would cost more to fix it than just buy a new one. Considering my last two laptops from Best Buy have both failed to, you know, work; I don't think I will be making any purchases from them.

Tuesday, October 23, 2007

Dumbledore and The Ownership of Fiction

Dumbledore is gay.

Or at least, that's what JK Rowling says. She should know, considering she invented him and all. Though I am a bit bothered by the revelation, not because the father figure of one of the most popular children's books ever is gay, but because I don't think the author gets to make these kind of authoritative pronouncements now that the book is written.

Part of the fun of reading, or watching a good movie, is that you get to interpret the events. The author has her intent, but once she releases her final draft to the public, it is up to the public to make their own judgments. Rowling here is trying to rob her readership of one of the greatest joys of experiencing any art. I understand her motives. There's an almost insatiable appetite for all things Harry Potter and she has now finished writing the series which has dominated her life for a decade. And she feels ownership of these characters and wants to control how they are viewed. Which is all well and good, but she doesn't own the characters anymore. They are now part of my and your imagination.

Rowling has taken away the ambiguity. She did drop hints to Dumbledore's sexuality throughout the book, so I don't believe she's making this up after the fact. But there was a reason she didn't come out and just say "Dumbledore is gay" in the books. If she wanted to say that, nothing stopped her. She had several thousand pages to say whatever she wanted. But now that the book is out in the public, it is the public's (or more accurately, each reader's) own imagination which governs the details of these characters.

There was no need to fill in the details. She left it up to us for a reason. Perhaps the author needs to step back and trust her readers. We own these characters, too.

Sunday, October 21, 2007

“To you from failing hands we throw the torch; be yours to hold it high.”

Well, we lost. I'm pretty ticked about it. Mainly because I feel like we performed well and we should have won, and we don't even get to see the ballots so I don't know what the judges thought. I would like to have that sort of feedback. Since I just want to get the negative stuff out first, I'll also say that I got turned down for a job, lost my luggage, and dealt with a rainy day on our one day off.

OK, enough with that. The good stuff..

I spent four days in Key West. There is no downside there. I practiced my opening statement on the beach to the ocean under a beautiful night sky.

It was a great team and I was honored to be a part of it. If I ever learn to make a closing argument halfway as good as Dez, I’ll be a tremendously successful lawyer. Christie and Heather are both outstanding advocates, and they both made me work harder and get better than I ever thought I could be. So I really do thank them for not only putting up with me for a weekend, but also for enabling me to improve by helping me look at things in completely different ways. I wouldn’t trade my teammates for anyone in the entire school or any other for that matter. You guys rock.

Baylor fed us well. Osler has an uncanny ability to find the greatest restaurants in town. Gordon has the uncanny ability to eat anything not nailed down.

LSU won. While not related, that was pretty cool.

Finally, even though I am disappointed by the results, I am not disappointed in our performance. And when I look back on law school, this will be one of the memories I will cherish. Not just this weekend and the intense competition and the running jokes, but the entire process. It wasn’t being there, it was the getting there. And the late nights and the hard work may not have won me a trophy, but it made me better. And learning to be better is the whole reason while we’re here.

Thanks for letting us represent Baylor Law. I wouldn’t have traded it for anything.

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

Poseur On Vacation

Well, I'm not exactly on vacation. We're here in Key West for the mock trial tournament. I'm pretty excited about it, and we're working hard. Really, the only negative so far is that my luggage and I are not in the same city. Now, I'm not that fond of my luggage, but I am fairly fond of the things inside of it. Like my clothes.

The airport personnel seemed rather nonplused by the lost luggage. In fact, they seem to lose a lot of luggage and if there is something I've learned here in my very short stay is this: there's no such thing as a big deal in Key West.

Tuesday, October 16, 2007

Making BLS Better

Osler is soliciting comments again on how to improve the BLS, and I strongly encourage everyone to go over there and leave some constructive comments. Since I actually have my own blog, I can suggest my improvements here.

I like that Baylor has a focus on the practical application of law. It's what attracted me to Waco in the first place. But it seems we lack a real world practical program for students. A legal clinic staffed by Baylor students might be a good way to get our feet wet. I know of students who have driven to Austin in order to work in a legal clinic and there has to be a more convenient option. And I do want to stress that I found my internship at the District Attorney's office to be invaluable.

Also, we need more free food. And a better TV in the student lounge. I mean, what are we? Savages?

Sunday, October 14, 2007

Still Kicking

Yes, LSU lost. Yes, I watched. No, I have not harmed myself of others. Thank you for your concern. It was nice to know there was a Steve Suicide Watch as soon as the game went final. I am adult and I don't let a football game ruin my weekend. I have perspective on these sorts of things... it is not that big of deal. This is what mature adults do. It's just a football game at the end of the day.

Besides, I am blaming it all on Acosta.

Saturday, October 13, 2007

Guest Speakers

Who else enjoyed the return of Prof. CivPro to our humble PC classroom? Especially when he told us the room had the same vibe back when he was in school and he was going to try actively trying to get disinvited.

Is there any way I can get disinvited from PC?

Thursday, October 11, 2007

More Baseball. Sorry.

My adopted, almost-beloved Arizona Diamondbacks kick off the NLCS tonight. And, if you're like most people in the country, you don't care. But I will now vent on behalf of the D-back Nation, if they don't mind me speaking up despite only rooting for the team for year, and only as a means to keep the Orioles from killing me off.

Dear Baseball Fans,

Screw you.

We're sick of your "no one cares about the NL now that the Cubs have lost" columns. We're sick of the "they allowed more runs than they scored" columns. We're sick of everyone picking against us. ESPN had twenty columnists pick the playoffs (which probably means they have too many people writing about baseball), and not one picked the D-backs to win the Series. Not one picked the D-backs to even make the World Series. Only FOUR picked the D-backs to beat the Cubs.

Let me now point out that the Cubs had the worst record of any team in the postseason and that they are, well, the Cubs. Let me also note that the Diamondbacks posted the NL's best record and have homefield advantage through the playoffs. Over 162 games, the D-backs proved themselves to be the best team in the NL, and eighty percent of ESPN's columnists picked them to lose to the Cubs. The same Cubs who have not won a World Series in 99 years.

And I'm not picking on ESPN. 71 percent of fans think the Rockies are going to beat the Snakes. Seventy-one percent. Let me point out that the Rockies' best pitcher is Jeff Francis.

Look, I like the Rockies. And I wouldn't mind the Tribe finally winning a Series, goodness knows their fans deserve it for rooting for lousy teams in every sport and, well, living in Cleveland. As long as the Red Sox lose, I'm pretty happy. Especially since the Yankees have already taken the gas pipe.

But, seriously, would it kill y'all to give the Diamondbacks just a little bit of respect?

The Diamondbacks

Wednesday, October 10, 2007

Think Happy Thoughts

There's a notable lack of happy in the PC room. Now, its never the cheeriest place on earth, but I think the grind is really beginning to drag us down. I don't know, it just seems sort of glum around here.

So, try and make a concerted effort to be nice to someone tomorrow. Seriously. You know, give out a random compliment or something. Or maybe just smile. It's not that bad, everyone, and we've only got a few weeks left. Not to be hokey, but I really do believe we're all on the same team here. Let's get through this together. It's almost over.

Well, until we do this again next quarter. The light at the end of the tunnel is an oncoming train. No one said the happy thoughts had to last long.

Monday, October 08, 2007

The Visitor's Guide to LSU: We Are Insane

Since I had to be the Honorable Baker today (now 50% more arbitrary and capricious!), had mock trial practice, and have about 5000 pages of PC to read, I am a little too busy to come up with original content.

Since I'm still on a high from the LSU-Florida game, I encourage you to go to everydayshouldbesaturday and read one Florida fan's brave journey to Tiger Stadium. It is not for the faint of heart. But it is a fairly accurate portrayal of Saturday Night at Tiger Stadium, a place once described by Bear Bryant as "like playing inside a drum." Or by our former coach like this, "At night, you can actually smell the bourbon on the field."

A sampling:
Tiger Stadium is proxy Mardi Gras. Something cuts Tiger Stadium loose from the fetters of reality. Perhaps it’s the brown liquor buzz peaking with the setting of the sun, or the lurid dark purple the sky turns just as the sun is sliding beneath the horizon, or the combined and complete attention of 92,000 people all focused on one communal point of attention. We’ve read about the intangibles of playing in a place like Tiger Stadium before–the vague “something” described alternately as “special,” “different,” or “MY GOD I’M NOT GETTING OUT OF HERE ALIVE”–and scoffed.

We scoff no more. It’s real, live, and tangible enough to hang your freshly slaughtered baby alligator carcass on in a pinch. (We met a tailgater who, in festive fashion, had slaughtered a baby alligator that morning in order to prepare it for the tailgate. Tiger meat’s a bit harder to come by. Thanks, Chinese Medicine black market!


Sunday, October 07, 2007

How Bout Dem Tigahs?

I do not like exciting LSU games. I like those 45 point blowouts where I can start planning my after-game activities somewhere around the 2nd quarter. Last night's game was epic. It was terrific and it was exciting. It also caused me to burst about thirteen blood vessels and lose the ability to speak.

I have a feeling Jacob Hester will never have to buy a drink in Louisiana again. I'm also willing to bet there was a lot of alcohol freely available in the student section after the game. Sometimes the universe works out like that.

Oh, and Les Miles has got a pair. Of course it's easier to go for it on fourth down FIVE times when your kicker is doing his best Scott Norwood impression.

Friday, October 05, 2007


I finally got a haircut for about the first time in two months yesterday. Thank you, everyone. I’m glad you noticed. My arch-nemesis not only noticed the new haircut but also noticed my sideburns were uneven. Hey, just trying to be helpful.

Then, in order to be nice, he gave me a compliment. He said the new haircut made me look like Morrissey. Yeah, this guy. Whiny, androgynous singer of depressing Smiths songs. Being complimented on Morrissey-like hair is like telling a girl she has the muscle tone of Britney Spears.

Ed Note: Yes, I have an arch-nemesis. That is because I am a vigilante superhero who stops crime when I am not in law school. This is all a clever alter ego.

Thursday, October 04, 2007

Hey Bud Selig...

Dear Major League Baseball,

I like the playoffs. Who am I kidding? I love the playoffs. The Mets crash and burn? Warm fuzzy feeling over here. And you got some nice storylines with the perennial losers like the Cubs, Phillies, and Indians as well as powerhouses like the Yankees and the Red Sox.

I'm reall enjoying it in my few moments of free time. So don't think I'm complaining. Don't you go changing. But whould it kill you guys to hire some umpires who knew where the strike zone is?

Runs are cool. And they happen more often when the strike zone does not extend half a foot off the plate.


Wednesday, October 03, 2007

The CSO Loves You (Or At Least Thinks Fondly Of You)

I’m pretty busy this week, which explains the lack of posts. The blog is pretty low on the priority list, but I do want y’all to know I am still alive.

However, I would like to take a few seconds to thank Kat, Heather, and Monica for putting together the Guerrilla Tactics for Getting the Job of Your Dreams seminar. If you didn’t go, well, you missed out. Not only was there some pretty helpful advice on how you should go about your job search, there was also sushi and Barry Manilow trivia.

Law, sushi, AND Barry Manilow? I mean, you can’t top that sort of evening.

Monday, October 01, 2007

The Order of the Poseur

A good day for Friends of the Blog:

- The Rev's Law Review article got cited in an actual case. And that's pretty cool.

- Stokes made the Lone Star Mock Trial Team (the whole team was announced, I'm sorry I don't have all the names. Britt is an Acquaintance of the Blog but not in the same status as Stokes. Still, a hearty congrats to everyone who made it. Britt will be promoted to Friend of the Blog if he lets me beat him at ping pong).

- Acosta boarded a plane to DC to go to the Supreme Court to see the oral arguments of the brief he helped write for Osler. No word on whether he signed his work with "Love, Matt".

Good times, everyone. Let's be careful out there.