One of the running jokes of our Mock Trial team has been that my knee is so messed up that it is the only knee pain on the planet which is communicable. Since returning from Key West, only Dez has managed to avoid hurting his knee in the following week. Christie is already planning my impending doom, as she blames me for her recent ACL tear. The Pandora’s Box of knee pain was opened when I decided to dance on Friday night, which is a bad idea for two reasons:
1. I am a terrible dancer.
2. My knee has the stability of the average African government
So, Osler made fun of me today by listing a whole bunch of fake knee injuries I have incurred over the course of my life. The thing is, he left off a true injury which may be better than any of his fake injuries. Oh, and he guessed wrong on my first injury. The first surgery I had on my leg was in 1982 when I stepped on a needle. Due to my already burgeoning hatred of doctors, I walked around with a needle in my foot for three months. Somehow I did not develop gangrene. I showed them, right?
Anyway, my favorite knee injury is this: I blew out my knee playing croquet. Yes, croquet. If you blow out your knee playing croquet, the doctors will make fun of you. In fact, you’ll have three doctors and ten nurses in your room who all want to get your history just so they can ask “So, how did you hurt you knee?”
This was actually my favorite surgery (an odd turn of phrase), as I had cadaver surgery. They placed a dead guy’s ligament in my knee which is one of those things I am far too fascinated by*. While I’m not sure if it came from a carnie, it would not surprise me. This was in Baltimore, and it is based not to ask where the hospital gets their spare parts. There’s a reason people don’t go near Johns Hopkins alone at night: med students can’t be trusted.
Oh, and Osler is not kidding about the Vulcan neck pinch. Gordon poked me in the throat in order to prevent me from further injuring myself. This was a pretty remarkable decision on Gordon’s part, as he realized two things about me after spending a weekend with me: I will not listen to reason and I’m the sort of person who would find getting poked in the throat funny. Well played, GED.
*Ed Note- Much like the Dutch. Don’t ask.
6 comments:
What? What about the Dutch? Are you knowledgeable in the ways of the Dutch?
They are great people, I hear.
Johan van Oldenbarnevelt was a total badass.
Really, really, funny. Like a law class about art.
Anon--
That is really unnecessary. Prof. PR's style isn't exactly the style that I prefer, but he does his job well. And I really appreciate how much he cares and how he changes things up to try to keep us interested and engaged.
Didn't your mom ever teach you that if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all? Also, that is real big of you to post that criticism anonymously.
I forgot to tell you, the Sunday y'all were coming back from Key West, my knee hurt all day for absolutely no reason. My theory is you tried to get rid of it while you were flying back. I hate you, by the way.
(On the other hand, you did a great job of nailing my witnessing jello to a tree on Friday.)
A picture is worth a thousand words. So we had a monster reading assignment. But really, I think we need to appreciate there are things outside of our own existence. Art puts us up to the mirror whether we want to see the reflection or not. And I think Osler tied it to our core principles as lawyers and as people.
some things can't be found in a rulebook. Some things can't be found in a case.
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