Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Goonies Are Good Enough

I've had The Goonies DVD sitting on top of my TV for about a month and I've never found the time to watch it. So last night, while trying to unwind from a particuarly stressful day at work (in which no one threatened to gut me like a fish - in fact, everyone was quite nice), I popped it in.

Then I watched it again with the Commentary Track on. While Sean Astin looks a lot different and I can't believe Corey Feldman was ever that young... Josh Brolin looks exactly the same. Does he sleep in some sort of oxygen tent? Does he hang out with Dick Clark? Because he looks exactly like he did twenty years ago, only now with facial hair.

The movie? Still awesome.

Monday, June 23, 2008

Carlin Dead at 71.

I’ve been busy with this whole work thing so I’ve been unable to really keep y’all up to your eyebrows in goofing-off-at-work content. For this, I am sorry. But I’d rather not get fired since I sort of like my job. Actually, I really like my job. And I especially like getting paid and my nice Uptown apartment. So drafting that will comes before drafting a blog post.

Though I do appreciate when y’all ask if I’m dead or not. While I am not dead, George Carlin is.

I take my stand-up comedy very seriously, and George Carlin is one of the undeniable greats. He had an impeccable understanding of language and fought his entire life against euphemisms, as they are an assault on truth and honesty. His bit on how the term “shell-shock” became “Post Traumatic Stress Disorder” isn’t one of his most famous, but it is one of my favorites. He hated how we stripped the words of all of their meaning to make ourselves more comfortable. PTSD sounds like another BS disorder a shrink has invented to justify their rates. Shell shock sounds exactly like what it is.

His greatness didn’t just lie in funny observations, but he attached meaning to those observations. David Cross has a comment in which he dismissed most comedians as “funny in a who gives a shit kind of way.” Carlin’s comedy meant something. He used it to barely mask his outrage at the way those in power brazenly lie to us through the manipulation of language. It was a losing battle, but most fights worth having are.

Monday, June 16, 2008

First Time In Court

I'm scheduled for my first hearing this Friday. It's not on my case, it is on Lindsay's case. So, she has offered me some words of encouragement along the lines of "If you screw this up, I will gut you like a fish."

I'm feeling pretty good about this. What could go wrong?

Friday, June 13, 2008

Hey Hon

Jim turned to me today and told me that we've been friends for 21 years. So our friendship is now legally allowed to drink.

I'm in Maryland for his wedding right now, which means I've eaten about three crabcakes in a 48 hour period. Got to get while the getting is good. We went to downtown Baltimore today and some of the same stuff is there, and in other ways it's a completely different city. You can't go home again and all that.

I was driving through the valley between Howard and Baltimore County, and my radio (as always) went out because the stone blocks the radio signal. It's the same thing that happened every time I've driven through that valley over the past 15 years. And it felt, albeit briefly, just like home.

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Soccer. Yeah, Soccer.

I love the Olympics. I really do. Who am I kidding? I love almost all sporting events. But here's what I don't love about the Olympics: all of that brotherhood crap. I hate soft focus profiles. I hate that it's supposed to be about something other than winning. Which to me, as a sports fan, is kind of insulting. What makes the Olympics great is the best athletes in the world competing on the biggest stage. It's about winning.

During the Olympics, my favorite events tend to be the "smaller" events. Becuase the networks just throw, say, team handball on at 1:20 AM with an announcing duo consisting of some novice too nervous to blow this gig to have some annoying schtick and one former player or coach to explain the game. And it's great. Because for that one and half hours or whatever, there's nothing bigger than the team handball game between Ukraine and Austria. It's great.

Which brings me to my love of international soccer. Sure, there's a little bit of that sportsmanship and bringing the world together crap for the advertisers, but mainly it's just about the game. Even better, some of the teams (countries) absolutely hate each other. Seriously, ask an Englishman sometime about their nation's proud soccer history against Spain.

Don't forget to duck. And then bring up Argentina.

Or enjoy the Swiss and the Turks getting into a fight after their game today. that's right, Euro 2008 has managed to get the SWISS riled up.

So I've been watching lots of Euro 2008. And it is a lot of fun. If nothing else, it's great to watch teams struggle against their own identity to lose in almost the same way every time.

Then again, every so often, a team like Greece wins the thing. And no one sees it coming. Or the Netherlands comes in and beats the ever-livin' snot out of Italy. And you start to believe maybe this is the time they finally will put it all together.

Or maybe it's just Lucy setting up the football for Charlie Brown one more time.

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

Sunday, June 08, 2008

Back To the Blog

I'm not dead. So if you had me in your death pool, I'm sorrry that it didn't pay off for you. But I'm not promising I won't drop dead over the next week or so. In the time I've been off, I've been working at our new LSU blog on SB Nation, which is an actual site with advertisers and everything. That's right, I am a national syndicated dork.

I promised stories from Wichita, but now it's been so long it feels like my trip didn't even happen. It's like I watched a movie of us going to Kansas. but a promise is a promise, and here is a quick list of things I learned in Kansas.

- Wichita State is home of the Shockers. It never stops being funny. Trust us, because we drove that joke into the ground.

- When you have a chance to drink beer at a place called Emerson Bigguns, you should do so. I had a Guiness the size of my head. and let's be honest, my head is abnormally large.

- Apparently, doubling down on an 11 is NOT sound blackjack strategy. Because I lost on that. A lot. So much that i really thought about killing our dealer.

- We cut Dustin off. Not from alcohol, but from Red Bull.

- Really, it was a beautiful wedding. Idyllic setting, and even the chorus of bullfrogs made it more memorable. OK, we arrived right as the procession was beginning, so if anyone marred it, it was us. But it wasn't our fault there was a hole in the road. Swear to God, a hole in the road.

- Oklahoma is a truly empty and boring state. However, it does have casinos and really cheap prices at their liquor stores. So its not all bad.

- Wichita quickly grows on you. It is now one of my favorite small cities. It's like stepping into a timewarp. It's the kind of place where you canget into a good natured argument over whether Superman is a Kansan considering he is both an alien and, well, fictional.