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I'm not dead. So if you had me in your death pool, I'm sorrry that it didn't pay off for you. But I'm not promising I won't drop dead over the next week or so. In the time I've been off, I've been working at our new LSU blog on SB Nation, which is an actual site with advertisers and everything. That's right, I am a national syndicated dork.

I promised stories from Wichita, but now it's been so long it feels like my trip didn't even happen. It's like I watched a movie of us going to Kansas. but a promise is a promise, and here is a quick list of things I learned in Kansas.

- Wichita State is home of the Shockers. It never stops being funny. Trust us, because we drove that joke into the ground.

- When you have a chance to drink beer at a place called Emerson Bigguns, you should do so. I had a Guiness the size of my head. and let's be honest, my head is abnormally large.

- Apparently, doubling down on an 11 is NOT sound blackjack strategy. Because I lost on that. A lot. So much that i really thought about killing our dealer.

- We cut Dustin off. Not from alcohol, but from Red Bull.

- Really, it was a beautiful wedding. Idyllic setting, and even the chorus of bullfrogs made it more memorable. OK, we arrived right as the procession was beginning, so if anyone marred it, it was us. But it wasn't our fault there was a hole in the road. Swear to God, a hole in the road.

- Oklahoma is a truly empty and boring state. However, it does have casinos and really cheap prices at their liquor stores. So its not all bad.

- Wichita quickly grows on you. It is now one of my favorite small cities. It's like stepping into a timewarp. It's the kind of place where you canget into a good natured argument over whether Superman is a Kansan considering he is both an alien and, well, fictional.