Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Sample Questions

The Bar sucks. And it's because of questions which run something lime this:

The police execute a valid arrest warrant and detain Donny Defendant. They read him his Miranda warnings and begin questioning him. He is silent at first until the police officer beats in Defendant's head with a crowbar. Donny Defendant confesses to the crime.

Is the statement admissible?

a) No, because Defendant's confession is inadmissible hearsay.
b) No, because the crowbar was purchased through interstate commerce.
c) Yes, because he was read his Miranda rights and the interrogation was therefore valid.
d) Yes, because all criminal confessions are admissible. What are you, some sort of pinko criminal-lover? Answer (d), you sissy.

Then you start looking for option (e)

Monday, February 25, 2008

Oscars Hangover

I love the Oscars. I love them in all of their bloated, pretentious glory. When you open up your web browser and read the umpteenth article on How the Oscars Can Be Saved, which they have been running every year of my life, you start to believe that the Oscars need saving. And this was the lowest rated Oscar telecast ever, mainly because all of the Best Picture nominees grossed less than Spider-Man 3. On its opening weekend. (OK – a slight exaggeration. But if you take out Juno, it is a true statement).

And I’m really happy No Country For Old Men won. The Coens are by far my favorite directors, and I’m unwinding the day before the Bar by watching Blood Simple, their first movie, for about the one millionth time. But let’s face it, they don’t exactly get people running to the TV set. And they aren’t any better than they were two days ago.

The Academy has done much better in recent years of trying to award the best movie. This is an institution which never handed out a Best Director award to Kurosawa, Bergman, Hitchcock, or Kubrick. It’s the same body which honored Ordinary People over Raging Bull, Dances With Wolves over GoodFellas, and The Greatest Show On Earth over High Noon. Hey, it only took them 30 years to get around to honoring Scorcese. So at least they are trying, dipping into the indie films to flesh out the nominees. Even if they don’t let them win that often, at least they get invited to the party.

But what the Oscars need is to stop being ashamed of themselves. You know what? Be gaudy and tacky. Stop being ashamed of yourselves. Slap yourself on the back and just go for broke. Have twenty minute musical numbers. Wear outrageous clothes. And keep honoring good but not great movies. Because Hollywood is at its best when it goes overboard. Stop being humble. Be your self-congratulatory best. Or worst. And next year, give an Oscar to some actor turned director working on a vanity project instead of a master of the craft. It will be just like old times.

Failing that, let's just have more Gary Busey:

Last Thoughts Before A Three-Day Quiz

T-minus one day until the Bar exam. I wish I had something pithy or insightful to say, but I don't. More than anything, I'm really nervous. This is the biggest exam I will ever take, and I'd rather not have to take it twice. Right now, it all just seems like a form of hazing. Something that old lawyers make the newbies do to demonstrate how much we want to be a lawyer.

But I'm also really excited. And it's mainly for the same reasons. I'm about to take the Bar Exam. In two months or so, I'll get the results and then I will officially be a lawyer. How cool is that? I feel like I'm taking a step outside myself and looking at this kid who is about to be a lawyer, provided he passes. At many points in my life, that just never seemed possible. But here I am, right on the threshold of a new career and a new life.

Second chances happen. Hell, in my case, so do third and fourth chances. Five years ago, this didn't even seem remotely possible, but here I am. And all I can think of is a simple mantra: Don't blow it.

Thursday, February 21, 2008

Terps v Chokies

Best Headline of the day:

Terps Gag, Hokies Puke

And they aren't kidding. Click on the link to see the Hokie blow chunks all over the court and then the noble efforts to celan up afterwards. Bonus points to the student section, which adjusted their "Fear the Turtle" signs to say "Fear the Mop". That's thinking on your feet, guys.

Tuesday, February 19, 2008

I Endorse Another Winner

TJ was named editor of Law Review! Now, I have no real interest in the inner politics of Law Review given that I am both graduated and never was on Law Review in the first place. But TJ's win was an experiement in the power of my endorsing skills.

In my time at the BLS, I was three for three on "official endorsements" on candidates for SBA. Using my name on your SBA advertising was like the Good Housekeeping Seal of Approval. Automatic win. So TJ took the extra step and tried to see if my powers extended not just to SBA but to Law Review elections.

It does. I take full credit for TJ's accomplishments.

Monday, February 18, 2008

Honoring Bad Presidents

Today is President's Day, the day we honor both George Washington and Abraham Lincoln. I went through a phase in college trying to prove Washington wasn't a great president, but that's just because I'm a jerk. These are two men who are actually worthy of their lofty reputations and are actually worthy of a holiday dedicated to half-price bedding. Strangley enough, today is also the anniversary of Jefferson Davis becoming president of the Confederacy. He has no holiday.

But how about our not so great presidents? Can we get a holiday for William Henry Harrison? He died only 31 days into office because he insisted on giving a long-winded speech during his inaguration, caught a cold, and died. He might be the only person to ever die for being boring.

Or Franklin Pierce? A guy described as "genuinely religious, loved his wife and reshaped himself so that he could adapt to her ways and show her true affection. He was one of the most popular men in New Hampshire, polite and thoughtful, easy and good at the political game, charming and fine and handsome." He is also generally regarded as a lousy president.

Or Warren G Harding? Another good man who made a lousy presidnet, he presided over an era of rampant corruption and soaring popularity. He summed up his own career honestly: "I am not fit for this office and never should have been here."

They can't all be on our money. But let's hear it for the guys who at least tried.

Sunday, February 17, 2008

Not Relaxing

You know, I thought once you graduated, you'd have time to sit by the pool, drink pina coladas, and otherwise do nothing. Well, that is a big honkin' lie. Not only have I pretty much spent every waking hour of the past week simply studying for the Bar, apparently I'm getting dumber the more I study. My scores on the MBE are actually going down the more of them I take.

This can't be a good sign.

I'm thinking perhaps I should stop studying and should spend more time watching movies. Because that seems to be the only thing which causes my scores to go up. Hopefully, the Bar is easier the second time you take it.

Thursday, February 14, 2008

Be My Valentine

Today is one of the greatest days on the calendar. A day in which love blooms and the impossible seems possible. You walk a little bit lighter in your step, armed with the happiness that goes with this day. Lovers dream and the rest of us think maybe this is the year in which the unrequited finally becomes requited.

That's right. Today, pitchers and catchers report. I couldn't be happier. Baseball is back.

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

Taking It To The Hole

Normally, when a woman dunks it's more of a finger-roll and the player just grabs the rim on the way down. Hey, it's better than what I can do, but it's not always that impressive. Enter Brittney Griner:

That first dunk is pretty awesome. She cuts through the lane and slams it home with some authority. And she's in HIGH SCHOOL. She has already committed to play for the Lady Bears here in Waco, so go buy tickets now. Becuase let's be honest, fundamentals are overrated. I want to see dunks and three-pointers.

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

Studying Still

You know, I thought graudating would make a big difference in my daily routine. And it has -- I'm studying even more. The Bar is just two weeks away and I'm woefully unprepared for it.

Though a Bar Exam with nothing but Con Law, Evidence, and Civ Pro questions would be cake. Is there a way to make that happen? I mean, I didn't really understand property the first time.

Sunday, February 10, 2008


They gave me a degree!

Actually, that's not entirely true. They gave me a tube telling me that I can get my degree on Thursday, so I'm kind of hoping this is not some sort of elaborate prank. I mean, I got hooded and everything.

My family came to town and my mom was a big a hit. Which is obvious because, well, my mom is awesome. She flew into austin and didn't rent a car or anything, so most of ym weekend was spent driving my mom around, which was one part pain in the ass and about a hundred parts great. She even came by to Martin's patio to have a cocojo*.

Graudation day isn't really about you, it's about the people in your life who helped you get there. When I dropped my mom off today, she told me she had a great time and in fact, that yesterday was one of the best days she's had in a long time. Glad I could help, mom. Thanks for everything.

*Ed. Note -- The cocojo is an invention of Martin. It is perhaps one of the most delicious concotions on the plplanet, and it is named after his beautiful wife. You really should become friends with Martin and have him make you one.

Wednesday, February 06, 2008

Caps and Gowns

I picked up my cap and gown from the bookstore the other day. I look like a giant muppet with them on. I don't think anything has ever looked better.

Dean Essary has accepted our invitation to speak at graduation, which is extremely exciting. I don't think I'm alone in considering her my favorite first year professor, and Baylor suffered a real loss when she went off to become the Dean of Campbell (mascot: the Camels). Here's hoping she says "duty" at least once. I can't think of anyone I would rather speak at graduation.

Hey, it looks like they're gonna let me graduate! Go me!

Tuesday, February 05, 2008

20 Reasons I'm A Dork

I am a gigantic dork. But finally, I have a way to measure my geek-dom, as The Onion's AV club has helpfully posted the 20 pop culture obsessions geekier than Monty Python (HEY! Monty Python is not... oh, nevermind). So here's how I stack up in their list:

Actually, I'm not a big Trekkie. though I do know the difference between Trekkies and Trekkers, so that can't be a good sign. And I've seen all of the movies. Well, crap.

Yup. I've been to Rennaissance Faires. I even knew the beer wench personally. No joke, she dated my best friend. I didn't dress up or anything, though I did eat a gigantic turkey leg, which is always fun.

Kind of my dork wheelhouse. Let's just move on.

I don't even know how this makes the list. I know a lot of geeks, and we have never sat around and talked about Michael Jackson. nor were any of us actually Michael Jackson. So, no geekiness here.

I don't edit entries, but I do spend waaaaaaay too much time on the wiki. Sometimes you just have to look up 18th century French philosophers.

Best show on TV. God, I am a gigantic dork. It's remarkable I've even kissed a girl.

Like I would ever turn down a Barry Bostwick/ Susan Sarandon movie with Tim Curry in drag. And I have thrown toast. This isn't going well for me, is it?

Buffy, no. Firefly, si! Not a huge fan, but i'm still sitting at dork table on this one.

I like my RPG's to enable me to create my own characters. those guys who need an RPG based on Harry Potter are TOTAL dorks. What losers.

Too dorky even for me, as this is the pyrmaid scheme of dorkiness. The game is won by whoever is most willing to invest the most money into the game. That's not really winning.

Actually, I don't play any video game. So there. Two straight! I'm not a dork!

Well, they meant Simpsons obsessiveness, which I don't have. Though I do love me Matt Groening.

Now we're getting into the dork underbrush! Huge fan. It was the only reason to watch PBS as a kid.

Actually, despite my obsessive indie rock geekiness, I do not own a single Frank Zappa album. Not a one. Wow. I suck.

I didn't even know this existed. I'm losing my dork bona fides.

Not for me. I'll admit it, I like Disney films. Give me a princess followed by small woodland creatures and I'm happy.

I'm not dressing up as a cartoon character. Except maybe, just maybe, Shaggy from Scooby Doo.

No comment.

Baylor Law is doomed.

There is nothing good about fanfic. Nothing.

Overall, I'm pretty darn dorky. I'm surprised blogging wasn't counted against me.

Sunday, February 03, 2008

Monk Goes To Canton

Art Monk finally got elected to the Hall of fame. It’s about friggin’ time.

I’m kind of a Hall of Fame geek. OK, not even kind of. I’m the person who is genuinely outraged by Tim Raines and Bert Blyleven’s stalled candidacies while Jim Rice keeps getting more and more support. But Art Monk has long been my pet candidate, as his absence from the Football Hall of Fame actually lessened the Hall because Monk isn’t just qualified, he’s obscenely qualified.

Passing in the NFL has radically changed in the past 25 years or so. And passing stats have become larger and larger as teams have relied on the pass. To see this in numbers, of the top 50 players ranked by career receptions, 33 of them started their career after 1990 and 15 of them are still active. That’s just a long way of saying passing stats are weighted heavily towards modern players.

Monk ranks 7th all-time in receptions. When he retired, he was #1. Monk played in an era before the current explosion in passes yet his numbers still stack up favorably against modern players, even Hall of Famers. For example, he had more receptions and more yards than Michael Irvin. He was also the first player to catch 100 passes in a season. And until Jerry Rice came along and broke every receiving record there was, Monk held the career receptions record, the single-season record, and the record for most consecutive games with a catch.

Those aren’t borderline Hall of Fame numbers. Those are inner circle, first-ballot numbers. That’s before we get into the three Super Bowl rings. And he had to wait for inferior receivers like James Lofton and Michael Irvin to get in before he got his ugly blazer (not to pick on Irvin who is a legit Hall of Famer, he just wasn’t Art Monk). Not to be mean to Lofton, but the only person who thought Lofton was better than Monk when they were playing at the same time was Lofton’s mom. The point is not that Lofton and Irvin don’t belong in the Hall of Fame, it is that they DO belong in the Hall and Monk is even better. There’s no better case for the Hall of Fame than being better than the people already enshrined.

It only took a decade, but Monk finally gets the honor he’s always deserved. He’s now a Hall of Famer, and he even gets to go in with his teammate, Darrell Green, who is in the conversation for the best cornerback to ever play the game. So not only do things work out, it works out even better if he hadn’t had the wait. The Hall of Fame is richer for having Art Monk in it. That’s the definition of a Hall of Famer.

Finally Finals

For those of you looking for some insight on the PC III exam, here it is: it was really, really hard. I mean, if this exam was a rock, it would be a diamond. It was that hard.

I will now continue my post-final routine of curling up in the fetal position and crying. Thank you for your concern.