This just in: getting hit in the throat with a softball kind of hurts. That's the last time I try and make a play at the plate. Actually, who am I kidding? I'd risk severe bodily injury in a game of tiddlywinks if I could.
One of these days, I'll make a compendium of the injuries I've suffered, but my personal favorite will always be blowing out my knee playing croquet. By the way, if you blow out your knee in a game of croquet, the doctors will make fun of you. Just so you know.
I'm taking bets on when I finally lose the ability to walk. There's not a whole lot of parts in my legs still in their original factory condition. I started young, with my first orthopedic foot surgery at age 7. Though I'm pretty happy that one of my knee ligaments actually comes from a dead guy. I'm like a real life Frankenstein.
3 comments:
Awwww... well, when they finally stop working altogether, I'll push you around in chair and we can run over all the youngsters with their fancy original parts.
Catching a football w/ your adam's apple has the same effect.
Additionally, there is the shame of being brought to your knees in choking-pain by your eight-year-old son and having to listen to him explain how to catch a football.
I'll be right behind ya, bro.
I can only continue to shamelessly hit people in "non-contact" sports for so long without breaking something else.
When we eventually get the chairs, I'm totally racing you.
Stokes
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