Mike the Tiger Retires From What Seems A Lot Like Retirement

Mike the Tiger is retiring. Mike is LSU's live mascot, and he has a very difficult job of being rolled into the stadium and being asked to roar. Well, his trainer (who has the same name as my brother) has said that Mike's heart isn't in it anymore and he's not going to go to roar at games anymore.



Let me get this straight. He's a tiger, and he's retiring from his job... which consists of roaring. Isn't that what tigers do? Is Mike retiring from being a tiger? Actually, Mike is still going to go to games, he's just gonna chill out and enjoy his sideline seat.

Baker said there is no reason to start thinking of getting a new tiger. He said Mike has slowed down over the past 18 months, losing weight and muscle. But he still has a “good attitude.”

That's because Mike is a game day player. Mike's life up until this point has been to wake up, eat some food, take a nap, eat more food, play with a keg, nap some more, eat again, and then go to bed. And seven times a year, he goes to a football game. How do you retire from that? Isn't that close to retirment already? Does Mike really need muscle mass to lounge around and eat?

If LSU is taking applications, I'll take the job of being the next Mike.