Because we have a bunch of bright, fresh faces in these halls, I think its time for those of us in the Baylor Law blogging community to pass along some wisdom and dispel a few myths. We’re here to help.
MYTH: You will have 10 hours of homework a night.
THE TRUTH: Completely untrue. You will have 12 hours at least.
MYTH: Prof. CivPro once killed a student with his bare hands in front of the class.
TRUTH: Absolutely true. The kid showed up five minutes late and talking on his cell phone. Everything after that is sort of a blur.
MYTH: The other students here are not helpful to the incoming students.
TRUTH: Blatantly false. We are very friendly, even if it’s just to lure you into our underground labs to perform bizarre scientific experiments on you before anyone in the building learns your name and might miss you. I’d be especially wary of helpful IP students, they tend to have science backgrounds.
MYTH: Law students tend to go out drinking.
TRUTH: False. We only drink water. This is a Baptist school, we release stress by getting together and trading Bible stories.
MYTH: This is where fun goes to die.
TRUTH: Not true. Fun stays as far away as possible. And if it does show up, we torture it and dump the body outside of Temple.
MYTH: Exam grading is unfair, arbitrary, and capricious.
TRUTH: Absolutely true, as proven by the fact I have not failed out.
MYTH: This is the most stressful law school in the country.
TRUTH: That’s what the Princeton Review says. But those are the same people who ranked Texas A&M the 8th best value school for undergrads. Ask someone who went to UT how accurate that is.
MYTH: It doesn’t matter where you finish in your class, because 97% of the class will have jobs at graduation.
TRUTH: Firstly, you didn’t want to work at Baker Botts anyway. And I’ve just scored an internship with the prestigious firm, Abercrombie and Fitch*.
MYTH: You will gain 15 pounds due to poor diet and lack of exercise.
TRUTH: Can’t talk, eating.
MYTH: Prof. Contracts uses some form of illicit substance.
TRUTH: Not unless you count Diet Pepsi.
MYTH: Despite our competitive environment, other students are always willing to share outlines and class notes.
TRUTH: 100% true. Of course, most of the time its only with very “minor” corrections which completely change the meaning of the lecture. Try to guess which ones! Was that “shall” really a “may”? You’ll find out when grades are released!
MYTH: The blogs here are funny and/or interesting.
TRUTH: I disprove that every single day.
*Ed Note- Obviously false. I’m not qualified to work there as I lack the appropriate washboard abs.
13 comments:
TRUTH: Poseur is refreshingly honest with the new crop of victims.
TRUTH: Don't try to beat Poseur at trivial pursuit.
why the Baker Botts hate? Can we not just have BigTex love?
jeffy... it's the concept of sour grapes. I'm not hating on Baker Botts, just pointing out that they aren't hiring me unless there is a sudden dip in their standards.
And really, don't try to beat me at Trivial Pursuit. That is very true. If it's irrelevant, I probably know it.
Technically, Prof. CivPro didn't kill him with his bare hands. He used his knowledge of the Dark Side of the Force to suspend the kid in mid-air and then choke him. It was quite a sight...
You had me until you mentioned Texas A&M...
You're such a compulsive liar.
However, if Baker Botts does dip their standards, I expect you to go in there and get them to drop them further so that I can get in.
CORRECTION: Last time I checked Prof. Contracts preferred Diet Coke, and chain-drank them.
EVEN TRUTH-IER: Prof. CivPro kicked a certain blogger out on the first day of class, when he walked in on WJC's heels. Prof. CivPro dismissed him with a simple, yet authoritative, "Hit the road."
Opinion of the movie, please...
MYTH: Professor CivPro's tears cure cancer
FACT: Absolutely true, too bad he has never cried.
Ok, that was obviously a rip off of a Chuck Norris trait. I use it only But for the purposes of demonstration and suggestion because I am inherently NOT creative. I think we should fashion a top ten list of traits of Baylor classes, not necessarily the professors, to give the newbies a good idea of what electives are like (when that time rolls around). It goes without saying that my non-creative mind SHOULD NOT lead this endeavor. Just a suggestion. I'm here only to help the hilarity elves at Poseur HQ.
Love,
Matt
I really need to proof read before I post.
Love,
Matt
mmmmm, water....
We're on vacation.
Baker- are you doubting that A&M is the 8th best undergrad value in the country? Do I really have to put you on the list with the staff of Texas Monthly? And Officer L?
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