Apparently, I'm gay. And not just a little gay, but Boy George making out with Nathan Lane gay. Because the Love My Way ministries, a delightful little site dedicated to reforming homosexuals, has listed the Bands That Make You Gay. I'm dead serious. Here's some highlights from the list:
Cole Porter
The Grateful Dead
The Doors
Phish
Queen
Sufjan Stevens
Morrissey
The Pet Shop Boys
Metallica
Judas Priest
The Village People
The Rolling Stones
David Bowie
Jay-Z
Kansas
Ani DiFranco
John Mayer
The Indigo Girls
Velvet Underground
Madonna
Elton John
Barry Manilow
Indigo Girls (Listed twice! I swear! That's how gay they make you!)
Melissa Etheridge
Eminmen
Nirvana
Boy George*
Motorhead
Wilson Phillips
DMX
Ted Nugent
Frank Sinatra
Nickleback
Red Hot Chili Peppers
Elton John (Also listed twice!)
I'm screwed. And this doesn't even include bands they've never heard of. Though I find the inclusion of Frank Sinatra to be absolutely fantastic. I think Old Blue Eyes is getting ready to rise from the dead to kick someone's ass.
My favorite part of the site is that they quote Oscar Wilde and describe him as a "reformed homosexual." If by reformed you mean, living out his last years at L'Hotel in Paris having gay sex with as many boys as he could before he died of meningitis, then yes, he was reformed. I'd have some other words for it, and "reformed" is not among them.
8 comments:
My favourite part of the list is that they actually question whether Moz is gay or not, and that somehow George Michael got labeled a Texan.
Wow. That is quite the website. I personally appreciate the CHOP program. Changing Homosexuals into Ordinary People program. Does anybody really know what is ordinary in 2007 anyways? However, it has cleared up many of my questions about my past failed relationships. I'm clearly a homosexual. Who knew?
Wow...so I happened to be listening to Metallica as I read this post, it all makes sense now. Apparently listening to them will make you gay, but listening to Cindi Lauper will not. I'm glad these perfectly sane representatives of Christianity were able to clear that up for me. By the way, the Apostle Paul is a huge Queen fan. Little bit of trivia for y'all...
That's right... (sudden realization) I'm gay. So are all the the females I know. This could be fun...
And I was listening to Lindsay Lohan as I read this post (long story Baker). Does that make me EXTRA gay, like Coldplay?
Love,
Matt
PS: Evenescence will NOT make you gay. They are specifically a "safe band." Possibly because they "used to be christian?"
who knows, I'll never get good a determining they gayness of bands.
too bad
Love,
matt
Someone is ripping off Osler. I'm not saying who, I'm just saying someone.
Damn it! Stupid finals...
Osler did post this, and I hadn't noticed. We need better quality control around here.
Thanks for writing this.
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