Mascots Gone Wild!

Adrian McPherson is suing the Tennessee Titans because he was run over by their mascot. Now, I am happy someone else recognizes that mascots are evil, but I think McPherson’s going a little too far in his complaint. He’s trying to collect $15 million in compensatory damages and $5 million in punitives. Once again, this is for getting hit by a golf cart driven by a mascot. A golf cart.

McPherson suffered injuries severe enough to force the Saints to put him on the injured reserve (apparently, one cannot be placed on the IR for “having a case of the sucks”). McPherson makes about $350,000 a year for playing quarterback and, according to his complaint, “play in other significant capacities” which we can assume means holding the clipboard and planning the after parties. A player in the NFL still gets paid when he is on the IR, so I’m not sure how he’s claiming lost income, but let’s say the injury is costing him next year’s salary in reduced earning capacity (really, are you going to hire a quarterback unable to dodge a golf cart?)

We’re left with a claimed $14,650,000 in medical bills and mental anguish. While I find mascots to be creepy, I don’t think I’m getting a check anytime in the near future. I’m also going to go out on a limb and say that McPherson does not have several million dollars in medical bills. I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I’m on the mascot’s side in this one. Maybe its because I think former Florida State football players should be assaulted by guys in raccoon costumes.