Actual conversation on the phone this morning:
Me: Hello?
Anonymous: Um... did you take me home last night?
Me: No.
Anonymous: Do you know who did?
Me: No.
Anonymous: I woke up this morning at home and I don't know how I got here. And you're one of the few people who know where I live.
Me: Yes, but you could have given the person who gave you a ride directions.
Anonymous: (silence)
Me: Do you know where your car is right now?
I like it that my friends are apparently black-out drunks. This is why Glenfidditch should be served at every party. I, of course, stuck to water. Delicious water served in a tumbler. With ice. Because I would never drink Scotch on a school night. I'm far too responsible for that.
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