Making Gretzky's Head Bleed

It’s tough goings being a hockey fan deep in the heart of Texas. Not that it’s difficult to get games, as I’ve been able to plunk in front of my TV and just veg out. But it’s tough when you watch a truly outstanding game and there’s no one to rant about it to. Luckily I have this space.

I’m kind of an obsessive Flames fan, for no particular reason other than I liked it back in the day when Jim Peplinski would make Gretzky’s head bleed. So, I settled in last night to watch the Flames play the Sharks, and precisely two and half minutes into the game, the Flames were getting pasted 3-0. I know my readership is not full of hockey experts, but you can figure out that being down three goals in the first three minutes is pretty bad. Then the announcer said something so stupid I can’t believe he is paid money to talk into a microphone: “An early 3-0 lead is the worst lead in hockey.”

Let’s review. The Sharks were averaging just over a goal a minute, which means if they kept up that pace, they were gonna win 60-0. The Flames pulled their starting goalie, Mikka Kiprusoff, one of the best goalies on the planet to put in Curtis Joseph, a guy who hasn’t been good since before anyone had even heard of Britney Spears. The C of Red, the affectionate name for the Flames home crowd which has a reputation for being the rowdiest in hockey, sat in stunned silence. An average NHL goalie allows less than 3 goals per game, and the Sharks goalie, Nabahkov, actually IS the greatest goalie on the planet right now, and he allows about two goals per game. Pretending a 3-0 lead was anything other than an excuse to start watching Deadliest Catch was just silly.

And then this happened:

Now, there’s a lot of cool things about that hit, other than the fact Patrick Marleau ended up looking like Tina Turner after she disagreed with Ike. The guy who made that hit is Corey Sarich, who I believe is the worst player in hockey right now. He’s spent most of this series looking like Bambi on ice, getting abused by Sharks forwards as they take easy shots on goal. Sarich went from lousy waste of space to the Guy Who Saved the Series in the amount of time it took him to break some dude’s face. Even better, the Sharks retaliated and somehow the Flames ended up on the power play. Which they immediately scored on. Somehow, a dirty hit by the last guy on the bench was a penalty on the other team. I would like to say I don’t condone dirty play, but that would be a lie. So I loved every second of it.

The Flames then improbably rallied back from the deficit, and won the game 4-3. The game-winning goal was scored by Owen Nolan, who used to play for the Sharks. So, sometimes the moron in the booth is right. Apparently, a 3-0 lead is the worst in hockey.