Feliz Navidad!

As my family sleeps in on this Christmas this year, since I am the youngest person in the house and we went to Midnight Mass, I am left to sit online and rate the gifts Santa left in my stocking this year.

A PASSING GRADE IN PC. Santa, you really shouldn’t have. It even looked all shiny and new under the tree. I will love it and hug it and name it George.

A “GUMMI BEAR” REPLICA STATUE. Have you ever walked past the big green monstrosity in front of the building and thought to yourself, “I wish that came in a smaller size which I could use as a paperweight?” Well, now I can spend hours trying to decipher the markings in the bear’s body. I think it’s an old Sicilian message: Luca Brazi sleeps with the fishes.

BLS PROFESSOR BOBBLEHEADS. Prof. Evidence in a three-piece suit and sporting a pocket watch. Prof. CivPro, pre-facial hair. And the retro Prof. Contracts, already poised to throw me out of class. Not a bad a haul. And I can ask them legal questions and, for the first time, have them agree with me.

THE MATT ACOSTA DO-IT-YOURSELF LAW MEMO KIT. Sponsored by Poseur HQ’s favorite PC partner, just insert a memo topic, what law to apply, and presto! The Law Memo Kit will spit out a four-page, properly cited legal memo. Perfect for when you get thrown out of class for not having read the 20-page dissent.

AN OSLER CHRISTMAS CD. Actually, this one is true. Boy, does he hate the Chipmunks. But a very cool gift.

AN EMPTY DIPLOMA FRAME. One month away, right? No pressure.

THE ANSWERS TO THE TEXAS BAR. Thanks to for breaking into the State Bar offices and stealing the answer key. I now feel like I’ve wasted that money on BarBri*.

*Dear Intent to Study Law People – This is a joke. I do not have the answer key. Please do not revoke my permission to take the Bar. I promise not to make fun of the Bar exam in the future.

PS – BarBri is SO worth the money. Thank you for selling it to me, Trevor.

When The Weather Outside Is Frightful

It's 32 degrees outside and the clouds are co-operating by giving us precipitation. But it is raining. RAIN?! Hasn't anyone heard of a White Christmas? No one dreams of a soggy Christmas. Come on, God. Get your act together and give us some good old fashioned snow for the holidays. That is, if you're not too busy trying to work out that peace on earth thing. If you are, no biggee. I'll carry an umbrella.

Bowl Games!

Some people think there are too many Bowl Games. These people are no fun, and probably cheer for Mr. Potter in It's A wonderful Life. Because I love lots of meaningless football games.

Last night, things kicked off with the Poinsetta Bowl in which Utah barely beat Navy in what was an incredibly exiciting game. The game was notable for several reasons:

1. There was a key call in the game which went against the Naval Academy. After the game, the referees apologized for messing up the call and essentially making Utah win. Which proves that referees hate America. They screwed over the Naval Academy. I hope they are happy.

2. The game is called the Poinsetta Bowl. A poinsetta is a flower. There is a football game named after a flower. I think that is awesome.

3. Navy's quarterback is named Kaipo-Noa Kaheaku-Enhada. Hawaii's quarterback, by the way, is Colt Brennan, which sounds Texan. This is not right. At least Texas' QB is Colt McCoy, which is arguably the most Texan name ever.

Playing Movie Critic

I finally got around to seeing No Country for Old Men, the most recent Coen Brothers movie. It's been praised to high heavens, and it is a really good movie, but it is hard movie to love. Which is odd, since I absolutely love the Coen Brothers and find their movies, if anything, too lovable. But they made a movie that can be parsed and analyzed until kingdom come, which, let's face it, is entirely up my alley. If anything, I like to over analyze my movies, TV, and music.

The Coens are the greatest thing to ever come out of Texas (Matt Acosta is a close second). And looking at their career, it's pretty damn amazing. They've won at Sundance (Blood Simple), Cannes (Barton Fink), and the Oscars (Fargo). And just about everything in between. they've made two undeniable cult classics (Big Lebowski and O Brother Where Art Thou?) and what I personally believe is the funniest movie ever made (Raising Arizona). Heck, and that's not even mentioning Miller's Crossing.

So they are finally getting their due as perhaps the greatest directors on the planet. Most people are lucky to make one great movie. Hell, look at Coppola, he made The Godfather and the rest of his career is pretty darn mediocre. It's like he had this one great thing and once he was done, that was pretty much it. OK, Scorcese is still cranking out the movies, but how much of his rep is tied to just always getting the best actors in the world to work for him? Who can't make Robert DiNiro look good? The Coens greatest movie might still be their first, Blood Simple, and the big star in that is Dan Hedeya who is best known for being the dad in Clueless. No Country's big star is Tommy Lee Jones, but the guy who dominates the screen is Javier Bardem, and you've never heard of him.

Is it their best movie? I don't think so. It would be most people's best, but it runs against some stiff competition here. But I'd like to see it when the Oscar anyway, just for lifetime achievement. Because no one makes better movies than the Coens.

Infected With Christmas Spirit

Important Rule of Thumb:

You are never too busy to watch a bunch of little kids sing Christmas songs. That was really cool today, and thanks to everyone responsible for bringing in the Sol Ros choir to sing to us. I was wearing a grin from ear to ear, and now find it absolutely impossible to shake the Christmas spirit.

There was singing, dancing, musical solos, and even a pinata. They even sang a song telling us they thought we were cool. Which is patently untrue in my case, but I'm sure there are some cool law students and they were probably singing to them. I had a blast.

Poseur HQ Out To Lunch

One of the problems with suing approximately one hundred parties in our Big Trial is that when the opposition files a motion for no-evidence summary judgment... well, it takes a long time to write because there's so many causes of action. Of course, I blame Matt.

Anyway, I am kind of busy with this thing. No posts today. You actually had to pay attention in class. Sorry. My bad. Or Matt's. One of the two. Probably both.

Born Under A Bad Sign

I've attended a lot of sporting events over my life, but I think I'm either going to stop going or just rent out my services as a Cooler. I literally can't remember the last time I went to a sporting event and the team I was rooting for actually won. I can't even go to a winning LSU football game (which is why I will watch the title game from Waco).

The Posette* won Cowboys tickets and we went up to Dallas for the game. Now, I'm not a Cowboys fan, but I do have a healthy dislike of the Eagles and I was willing to fake it. So I put on a blue and silver shirt and cheered on the home team to defeat. If you're looking for someone to blame for TO's sudden inability to catch a pass... look no further than my attendance at the game. Teams should hire me to send to games to root for the other team. I'm batting close to 1.000 in this century. For example, LSU went 13-1 in 2003. I went to one game. Take a guess which one.

Ed. Note - I'm still working on a nickname for my better half. The Posette is the first stab at it, but I'm not too happy with it. Feel free to email me with suggestions.

Prom!

It's amazing how the BLS is sometimes just like high school. And I didn't much like high school the first time. Today is the social event of the BLS year: law prom. The day in which we regress to those old roles and relive those days of bad prom dresses and even worse hairdos. Only now with alcohol!*

In an effort to be just like high school, some of the 3L's (the seniors) are making plans to not go to law prom. Just like senior prom! All we need is someone to dump a bucket of pig's blood on the weird girl no one likes... oh, I've said too much. that didn't happen at my high school either...

*Ed Note -- Once again, this is a Baptist school. We would never drink alcohol. Or dance. Or gamble. And we certainly wouldn't do it all in one place. Like Knox Hall at 9 PM tonight.

Reliving Bad Trades

The Orioles traded their superstar shortstop, Miguel Tejada to the Astros. That sound you hear is me slapping my Dorito-stained hands together in maniacal glee. It’s not that I hate Miguel Tejada for being an overpaid, whiny, no-defense-playing, choke-in-the-clutch drain on my favorite team. I’m sure he’s nice to kittens and gives money to charity and all that. And it’s hard not to be whiny discontent on a team as lousy as the O’s. But let’s just say that it’s rarely a good sign when the star player gets traded and the fanbase’s general reaction is “Don’t let the door hit you in the ass on the way out.”

And the Astros gave up a lot. It makes me want to hug a Houstonian, so be on guard in school today. Luke Scott is already the O’s third best position player (which says more about the crappiness of the O’s). Troy Patton is rated as the Astros top prospect and Mike Costanzo is their top position prospect (which says more about the crappiness of the Astros’ farm system). AND the O’s got two other pitchers who might one day mop up the next 30-3 Orioles loss. This is the best trade the Orioles have made in two decades (which says everything about the crappiness of the O’s front office).

The O’s have been gunshy ever since executing one of the worst trades in the history of organized sports. In 1991, the Orioles traded for a power-hitting first baseman from the Astros, Glenn Davis. Davis spent the next three years alternating between being hurt and sucking so badly that I wished he was hurt. He managed to hit 24 home runs… in three years. And all it cost the Orioles was Steve Finley, Pete Harnisch, and Curt Schilling.

Harnisch was probably the worst player the O’s gave up and he made the All-Star team in 1991. He would pitch until 2001 as a league average starter. Steve Finley would make two All-Star teams, win five Gold Gloves, and generally be a really good player until he retired this year. Curt Schilling is a borderline Hall of Famer for his ability to pitch and self-promote. So, the O’s traded a useful league average pitcher, a really good centerfielder, and a truly great pitcher for 24 home runs over three seasons. This was the kind of bad trade which ruins a franchise… oh, wait. It did.

What goes around comes around. You’re welcome, Houston fans. Enjoy Tejada’s decline.

Getting Ever So Close To the Finish Line

I bought a cap and gown today. I have an email from Jeri in my inbox about voting for graduation speaker (and no, there will be no SoTheBearSays sort of campaign to be speaker from me). My mom booked a hotel for graduation weekend.

All this is very ambitious given that I haven't received my Evidence grade yet.

Chavez Thinks He's Playing A Drinking Game

What fun is being a South American dictator if you can't do wacky things like invent your own time zone? If we had played Name That Dictator with this fact pattern, I probably would have guessed Kim Jong-il, so it's good to see Chavez jumping up the Nucking Futs rankings. It's also a a relief to see a power-hungry ruler flaunt his power without killing large parts of the population.

Apparently someone was a little peeved their reform referendum didn't get passed by the voters. Chavez was unavailable for comment, as he is busy building a castle for himself made of cheese.

Charity Work

2:30 today! I get to be Santa Claus for women's Legal Society's toy drive for the kids of Sul Ross Elementary. I finally get to live up to the name of this blog and lie to small children about my true identity.

And I have been practicing my "Ho, ho, ho!" and memorizing the names of the reindeer in case someone tries to quiz me. Quizno's is a reindeer, right?

The Supremes

The Texas Supreme Court heard two oral arguments here at the BLS today, and if you did not attend, you really missed out. If nothing else, it's great to have a face to put with the names we keep reading over and over again. But the cases were interesting and it was a real treat to see lawyers actually arguing before the court in the very same room Prof. Contracts told me exactly how dumb I was.

My favorite question involved one of the justices creating a hypo related to the movie Risky Business (for real). And then this gem of a quote from one of the advocates:

"I agree the facts are undisputed. I do not agree with the petitioner's recitation of them."

I love lawyers.

Psychology of a Fight

I'm usually the level-headed one on our flag football team, which runs contrary to my personality. But it's usually someone else throwing a football at someone's head. I guess last night was my turn as I almost got in a fight during law school intramurals, which is even dumber when you write it out. Really, who cares?

However, at the time, I loomed over the kid with all of my looming ability. Yes, I can loom, and yes, it is a skill which requires practice. I like to take 6'2" out for a spin occasionally. And despite being at least six inches shorter and fifty pounds lighter than me, the other guy seemed ready to go. So you have to admire his spunk while questioning his judgment. Not that my judgment was all that stellar. Cooler heads prevailed and we shook hands.

After all, it's just intramural flag football. Even if I was ready to drop gloves. Which begs the question... why?

Imus the Not Funny

Don Imus, he of the famed "nappy headed ho" comment, is back on the radio. He, is of course promising to lead a national dialogue on race relations, which should be about as helpful as being lectured on nutrition by Rosie O'Donnell.

Seriously, can't he just stay off the air? It's not that I find him offensive, it's that I have never laughed once listening to his show. Not once. I don't think i'm alone in finding him not funny because never in my life has anyone walked up to me and said, "Did you hear what Imus said today?" Being funny ought to be a prerequisite for hosting a radio comedy show.

Apparently not. He gtes to stay on air just because he's always been on the radio.

We're #2!

That loud beeping noise you hear is LSU backing into the national title game. I will take it. Thank you, West Virginia, for choking like dogs. The state of Louisiana thanks you.