This just in: getting hit in the throat with a softball kind of hurts. That's the last time I try and make a play at the plate. Actually, who am I kidding? I'd risk severe bodily injury in a game of tiddlywinks if I could.
One of these days, I'll make a compendium of the injuries I've suffered, but my personal favorite will always be blowing out my knee playing croquet. By the way, if you blow out your knee in a game of croquet, the doctors will make fun of you. Just so you know.
I'm taking bets on when I finally lose the ability to walk. There's not a whole lot of parts in my legs still in their original factory condition. I started young, with my first orthopedic foot surgery at age 7. Though I'm pretty happy that one of my knee ligaments actually comes from a dead guy. I'm like a real life Frankenstein.
Awwww... well, when they finally stop working altogether, I'll push you around in chair and we can run over all the youngsters with their fancy original parts.
ReplyDeleteCatching a football w/ your adam's apple has the same effect.
ReplyDeleteAdditionally, there is the shame of being brought to your knees in choking-pain by your eight-year-old son and having to listen to him explain how to catch a football.
I'll be right behind ya, bro.
ReplyDeleteI can only continue to shamelessly hit people in "non-contact" sports for so long without breaking something else.
When we eventually get the chairs, I'm totally racing you.
Stokes